Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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