Please, let me fuck your mom
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
