He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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