You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
