Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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