Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize