You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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