the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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