i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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