as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
