My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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