READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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