I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
