VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
