Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I touched a dick in church today
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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