Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
