I want to have your abortion
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
