we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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