So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
