Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
