Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize