Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He has the fingertips of a God
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