somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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