Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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