why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
