with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
