i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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