Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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