does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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