all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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