Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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