he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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