is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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