I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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