I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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