Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
