i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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