So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
