jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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