Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize