ya dads aren't the best wingmen
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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