U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
