the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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