alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
ttyl tear gas
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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