Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
