She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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