Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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