I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
