Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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