ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize