Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
