well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
