Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
