Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
