gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
