ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
