all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
