...so i touched it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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