Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
